One of my favorite quotes is by Rainer Maria Rilke:
I’ve been living some big questions in the last few years of my life. Questions like: What do I believe in? Where am I to live? Who am I to love? What are my deepest desires for my life and what’s holding me back from allowing them to unfold? What am I to do with this one wild and precious life I’ve been given?
As I’ve been living my way into some answers, I’ve noticed a distinct pattern emerging.
First, I try my old ways of intellectual “figuring out.” I make spreadsheets and plans A, B and C. I spin my wheel in my head. I don’t get anywhere, and it feels bad.
I get really anxious throughout this process. I withdraw, I stubbornly try to do everything on my own. I don’t get anywhere, and it feels bad.
Eventually, I remember that things are a lot easier, and feel a lot better, when I move from a different place. Not from the head, but from the heart and body and soul.
Over the years, I’ve learned how to make space for my soul.
Here’s an example. A few years ago, I was trying to decide where to live. I was in an expensive one-bedroom apartment after a very challenging break-up, and my lease was running out soon. I had to decide –what was my next move?
For months, I couldn’t get anywhere with this decision. As time passed and got closer and closer to needing to make a decision about a lease, I was filled with anxiety. Luckily, in the dead of winter a few months beforehand, I had booked myself a long-weekend getaway to Florida to take a break from the long, cold Northeast winter. As a result of that weekend, everything changed.
For one thing, I was warm for a few days in a row! I lay in the sun on the beach, ate fresh seafood, fulfilled a lifelong dream of riding a horse on a beach, and gave myself the time and space I needed to grieve the end of my relationship. I read a lot, I wrote a lot, and I gave myself permission to feel it all.
One thing I noticed very dramatically on that trip was that all my dreams recently, for about a month, had been about my hometown in upstate NY. My family, my church, the high school I graduated from, my family farm were the common setting almost nightly.
I flew back to Vermont and the next morning, woke up with the familiar anxiety returned. I lay in bed feeling it. It felt bad. It felt like I would never get out of this endless cycle of anxiety and self-doubt.
Then, miraculously, a wave of peace came over me. In an instant, I knew what to do. I would move back to my hometown, to my family farm, the place where my extended family lives, where my heart is. I would make the shift away from all that I knew and loved in my adult life in Vermont and I would restart back where I had grown up. It was scary. But it was right.
Of course, it was weeks and months to continue to discern, to have conversations with friends and family and my therapist and coach, to plan those tangible next steps – bring out the spreadsheets and lists!! -- and to bring that Knowing into fruition.
Now, two years later, I couldn’t be happier with that decision that really came from deep within. It came from my dreams. It came from following my intuition, those things that spark along the way and help led me into deeper knowing. I’m deeply connected to the place that I live. I’m thriving. I’m joyful. I love my life.
And, of course, as it turns out, I get to re-learn this essential lesson over and over again. To check in with my knowing first, and to check in with my body’s deep wisdom. To listen to my dreams. To pay attention to images. And THEN to let the intellect, the mind, the planning, the spreadsheets take over.
Here is a simple process you can use to find clarity if you are currently overwhelmed with uncertainty or the "living the questions:”
Step 1: Check in with your Inner Knowing. Sit quietly and ask yourself “What is my body’s deeper wisdom telling me?”
Step 2: Notice your dreams. Keep a log of your dreams for the next week and notice which themes, imagery, are present.
Step 3: Create space in your day to really give space for these questions to unfold. Maybe it’s a hike alone on a Saturday morning, or a walk before the kids get up at 5 AM. Hold the question in your head or journal on: Now that I've listened to my inner knowing, what’s the tiniest actionable step I can take in the process of living my questions?
Taking these three simple steps will lead to balance, alignment and unimaginable peace and joy in your life.
Creating space for your SOUL is the first step. Practice listening first....
THEN, take action.
When you balance the masculine and feminine energy that's within you in this way, you allow for flow. For ease. For balance.
Are you currently in transition?
Rebuilding as routines, job, work, family shift around you?
Are you looking to create more balance, wholeness and overall well-being and connection in your life?
I invite you to join me for a FREE a 30-minute Connection Call.
We will look at how you can personally move from stuck to unstuck, to unlock incredible joy, balance and ease.
I filled the three spots for this week and had so much fun during these calls and conversations! Now I have THREE spots open for next week, and I'd love to talk to you!
Are you ready to make space for your soul and your deepest desires? For wholeness? For more beauty and depth and connection?