I used to be very frugal. Let’s be honest…I’m still very frugal. But I consider myself to now at least be aspiring to more of an abundance mindset.
To that end, recently I’ve been practicing spending money on myself. It’s all part of my “recovery” from constantly seeing scarcity. As in, “I don’t need a new winter coat. This one just has a zipper that doesn’t work, so I’ll go into the bathroom when I get somewhere to avoid the public embarrassment of literally stepping out of my coat. As if I were taking off a pair of snow pants.”. True story. Or, when I got tired of stepping out of my coat, “I don’t need a new coat, I’ll just wear these TWO coats that I already have!”
Sigh.
You see why I need to work on this, right?
I’m telling you this to try to show you how engrained this scarcity mindset is in me. “I’m progressive and conscious of not overconsuming and feeding a capitalist system I don’t agree with” can quickly turn into getting stuck in a long conversation with someone on the way out the door at church and sweating my ass off because I couldn’t easily take off my winter coat.
“I’m being responsible and saving money,” also only holds up for so long.
What’s behind it all? For me, I think it’s deeply rooted family beliefs about money and hard work. My limiting beliefs around money show up as “You have to work hard in order to get by in life. Money is hard to come by, so hold onto it. It’s selfish to spend money on things you don’t need.”
The question of self-worth comes into this whole equation as well. “You don’t deserve nice things” isn’t something I would ever say to anyone else. But sometimes that inner voice is there in the background, saying those words to myself.
So, last spring, as a result of working with an incredible coach and in a spurt of scarcity-mindset-recovery-to-induce-more-creativity activities, I bought myself a nice, new winter coat. And this fall, as the temperatures have dropped here in upstate New York and we’re all preparing for a winter in a pandemic, I can truly say that my new winter coat was worth every penny. I now will be warm right through March. I’m happy every time I put my coat on (and a lot warmer). I can feel my own self love and worth seeping through it – I’m worthy! I’m worthy of a warm winter coat and I know it enough to set aside my old limiting beliefs! And, of course, the best part is that I can take off my coat like a normal person.
Are there any other recovering scarcity mindset-ers out there?! Let me know what limiting beliefs you're trying to shift. Seriously, I'd love to hear from you!
And, for those of you who might be interested in going deeper into those limiting beliefs and working through them with support, I'm here to help! You don't have to get from "I'm not good enough" to "I deserve to be whole" all on your own. I know I didn't! I offer free 30-minute "Prioritize Your Self Care" calls where we'll look at the blocks that are keeping you stuck in scarcity or not-enough-ness. You'll walk away with a concrete action plan to bring more self care into your life. And you'll actually feel better just from giving yourself this small window of time that's focused on you and your needs.
Here's how you can say yes to yourself! Schedule your call here: https://chelseafrisbee.as.me/schedule.php
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